Mother's Day for grandmothers raising grandchildren

Karen Best Wright, B.S., M.A. Health Educator / Wellness Coach

www.TheWellnessWay.org

www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Mother's Day evokes a multitude of feelings in women. It may be a happy day with cards, flowers, family gathered together and plenty of "I love you's" and hugs. Or, it may be a day of sadness, tears, or maybe even numbness.

For grandmothers raising grandchildren it will also be a day of mixed feelings. Those raising little children may face conflict of who did the child make the Mother's Day card for, the mother they seldom see or the grandmother who raises them everyday. Some grandmothers have happy stories to tell. Other grandmothers have sad experiences and not recognized at all. They may be raising teenagers who are sensitive and treat their grandmother as a mother. They may be raising teenagers who don't have a clue and don't even say Happy Mother's Day. No more with the cute cards and hand-picked flowers. 

Then there are grandmothers who are raising grandchildren due to the death of their own children. Mother's Day may bring tears for everyone. The day goes unrecognized and goes on like no other. But deep in the grandmother's heart is a longing for something. Just remember the children may feel conflicted too.

For you grandmothers who still get the cards, flowers, and smiles and hugs, I am very happy for you. For those of you who feel forgotten while you are still mothering children, know you are not alone. Many women face the same dread and ache.

Just know your value is not based on whether or not others recognize what you do. You are valuable even if you feel invisible and taken for granted.

So do I say Happy Mother's Day or do I wish you a peaceful day? Either way I hope you grandmothers raising grandchildren know how important you are.

From one grandmother to another.

Comments

[Bobbie Scott]

I would like to say thank you.I really needed this today of all days

[nancy brown]

I like to consider myself a teacher, teaching my grandchildren what kindness and recognition looks like for me. I tell them what I eould love to do on holidays, birthdays, how I like to celebrate. Mother's Day is tricky becaue of what you mention Karen, so we do a th k you for mother,s ceremony, lighting candles, all eat cake and the gifts from school in our case can go wherever they choose. Our home special day, traditions we establish. I help them consider what makes them feel happy as we create our clebrations, they are still young, 9 and 6... learning gratefulness and thankfulness, learning to notice the feeling of appreciation inside themselves and practice showing it.

[Engle@ kpunet. Net]

Well said Karen! For me it's pretty much just another day....I don't expect anything and am pleasantly surprised when my kids do remember to just say HMD! Have a peaceful day ! Busy week here with preschool graduation, ballet performances by my 14 yo God and baseball games for 3 grands... To top it off we have a friend staying here two of those nights and we leave Saturday for two weeks... Cancer check up and back east to see in laws.... Thankful I only have one go living with me part time... Will join your health thing upon my return... Thanks for your ste?!!!