By Karen Best Wright, B.S., M.A. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator
Below is an email that I recently received from a grandmother. The story is one of which many grandparents who are raising their grandchildren will relate. This grandmother was willing to let me share her story and concerns with my readers. Ill-legal drug use is a primary reason why many grandparents are raising their grandchildren. I really appreciate the honesty of this grandmother in admitting that she feels she's a mess from the stress. I can totally relate to that.
I am not only dealing with getting custody of my grandson, but putting his mother (my daughter) out on the streets. She has no job, no place to live, a barely running car, but we had to kick her out. She is 28 and has put us through hell for the last 18 years and I just can't take it anymore. When she got pregnant, she started to turn her life around and I thought this nonsense was finally over. But no, she always resorts to drugs, stealing, abusive drug using boyfriends, and using my grandson to manipulate me. She is horrible to me and her father, but when she needs help, she always comes to us, and I usually cave. The last episode was the final one for me. Long and ugly story. But, my concerns are about my grandson someday blaming me for what ever happens to his mommy. She is threatening to commit suicide, but I feel this is another form of manipulation. If she follows though, I will feel horrible, but relieved that this part of it is over. Isn't this sad? I am very conflicted, but know she is the only one that can fix herself. Nothing that I have ever done seems to make a difference. So we are going for custody of our grandson, age 7, because she is homeless and using again and his father is in prison. My grandson seems to be doing okay here because I know he feels safe and loved with us. We are the only stable thing in his life. But I am a mess. I know we both need counseling and am working on that, but am so overwhelmed at the moment. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. Wish there was a support group near me. Tough Love was wonderful when I went 10 years ago, but they are no longer around. Just helps so much to be able to talk to others.
Any words of advice or words of encouragement for this grandmother?
Karen Wright - A grandmother in love with her grandchildren