Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

November recognized as Family Caregivers Month by the Common Wealth of Virginia

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Governor Robert F. McDonnell of Virginia has officially recognized November 2011 as Family Caregivers Month and brings this to the attention of all Virginia citizens. Recognition is given to all caregivers, whether care is provided for older relatives or seniors caring for their grandchildren. In Virginia, thousands of older adults are caregivers for 112,000 grandchildren. In Virginia, it is estimated that over the course of a caregiver's lifetime, the average financial loss is $304,000 due to lost wages, lost pension, and the negative impact of social security benefits.

I live in Virginia, so I appreciate the recognition given to Virginian caregivers by Governor McDonnell. If your state has a similar caregiver recognition month, please leave a comment.

Karen Best Wright, B.S. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

www.TheWellnessWay.org

 

Creative Play Areas for Children

By Karen Wright, B.S. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

A grandmother in love with her grandchildren

www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Children throughout time have created special play areas. When I was a child, I made playhouses out of cherry lugs, until the workers needed them. Obviously, I remade my play houses several times a day. I also played in the woods and outlined the rooms of my play house with rocks and sticks, or I played up in a cherry tree. When my children were young they either created a fort in our "way back" part of the yard or used blankets to make a tent in the family room or living room depending on the house we lived in. My husband was in the military, so we have various memories of play areas.

When my grandchildren lived with me, we lived in a big farm house, so they had a variety of options for play areas. We had the ready made princess pop-up tent, we would set up in the living room as well as the typical homemade tents using chairs, blankets, etc. Two months before they went to live with their mother (obviously I wasn't planning that), we bought them a really nice outdoor playhouse, the type that looked like a real little house with shutters and all. I sort of think I was actually buying it as much for me as them. I had always wanted a playhouse like that. They make such cute playhouses nowadays. Some even look like log cabins. Well back to my subject. The playhouse we bought was even wired to have lights. But when the children left, I couldn't even muster up the courage to go inside of it. Heck, I couldn't even use it for a shed, because of the emotions attached to it. So I gave it to a different daughter for my other grandchildren. Moving it was no easy task, but her husband had the needed equipment and knowledge to get it moved.So at least it is still in the family, and it is still used by grandchildren, rather than as a shed.

Even though we had some really cool ideas for play areas, most of the time the children simply played in the family room or their bedrooms. But the creative play areas, even up in the trees are fondly remembered. I would love to hear your ideas on creative play areas your children or grandchildren have had. Do you have a special room, nook, or corner where they can be creative? Let's share ideas, no matter how simple.

Karen Best Wright

www.TheWellnessWay.org

Midlife Mothers

By Karen Best Wright, B.S. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

A grandmother in love with her grandchildren

www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I got an email today from Cyma Shapiro telling me about her website www.midlifemothers.org

MidlifeMothers.org represents women over 40 who choose motherhood through IVF, natural childbirth, adoption, fostering, guardianship, surrogacy and blending families. I thought this very inspiring. I so admire women who are raising children after the typical age of mothering. Most of us reading this blog are grandparents raising grandchildren in our midlife years. But these mothers are doing this by choice. How inspiring.

Karen Best Wright, B.S. Holistic Health Educator

www.TheWellnessWay.org

 

 

Oh, she'll have to sleep with grandma when she comes.

By Karen Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

A grandmother in love with her grandchildren

Do you remember the song, "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain" and the verse "Oh, she'll have to sleep with grandma when she comes?" I sang that song as a kid and sang it with my kids and with my grandchildren when they lived with me. What a funny song.

My question to you is "Where do your grandchildren sleep when they are with you? It can be especially challenging for grandparents who have already downsized to a smaller home. I remember one grandmother who wrote me a few years ago. She lived in a 2 bedroom apartment when she unexpectedly got five grandchildren to raise. Most Americans are not used to living with so many people in such a small place.

When I first got custody of 3 of my grandchildren, I lived in a 3 bedroom home, which consisted of a master bedroom, a room I used for my home office, and a room for my teenager. There were no extra beds let alone bedrooms in the beginning. I put the newborn in a basket by my bed, the two-year-old in a playpen, and the four-year-old on a toddler mattress on the floor. Eventually, with an addition put on the home, I was able to put the two oldest in bunkbeds in their own room and the crib in the master bedroom with me. Eventually, we moved into a farmhouse with plenty of bedrooms and beds.

Now that the children live with their mother, I moved into a very small home again in the city.  So now where do grandchildren sleep when they visit me? I no longer have bunk-beds or even an extra bed. Air mattresses work wonders in my extra room, and yes, one may need to sleep with grandma.

Whether you are raising your grandchildren or they just come for a weekend visit, where do they sleep? Are you fortunate enough to have a guest room, a hide-a-bed, or do you use air mattresses like I do now. You know, even though I like this little house I have in the city, I miss all of the bedrooms, beds, and children around alot. I do look forward to when they get to come visit and have a sleep over with me.

So where do your grandchildren sleep?

Karen Best Wright, B.S. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

www.TheWellnessWay.org

Christmas is Coming and What Do I Do?

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I am surprised at the number of emails I get from grandparents who are raising their grandchildren and say their grandchildren go without birthday gifts or Christmas gifts. This blows my mind. I cannot even fathom it. When I was raising my grandchildren, the first year our local social services (we lived in a rural area) contacted one of the departments at the local university. We received so many gifts that I kept many of them to give them throughout the year for birthday gifts, etc.  The next few years gifts were provided to needy children in a different way, but we did not participate in the program. Before I would let my grandchildren go without a birthday or Christmas gift, I would contact the following types of agenies to see where there was help.

1. Any church in my area

2. Salvation Army

3. GoodWill

4. Any other Charity Thrift Stores

5. The local Harley Davidson Store. Harley riders collect toys for children

When the right people know of children who will go without gifts, they are always willing to help. There is no reason for a child in the United States to go without a birthday gift or Christmas gift.

If any of you know of other places to check when you are in need of clothing or gifts for grandchildren, please write me so I can share the information. Thanks.

Karen Wright, Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

The Wellness Way

http://www.TheWellnessWay.org

Grandparents Support Group in West Queens, New York

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I received information today about a support group for grandparents raising grandchildren in West Queens, NY. Starting October 17, 2011, they will be meeting the third Monday of each month from 10am to 12pm. If you live in the area give them a call or pass this information on to others who may need it.

Family Resource Center in Western Queens Mental Health Association of NYC

87-08 Justice Avenue, Suite C-14

Elmhurst, NY 11373

Attn: Maggie Lovell 718-651-1960 x227