When you can't take your grandchildren

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I recently received an email from a grandmother who is 60 and due to health reasons does not feel that she can take her 5 grandchildren, again. She is battling with feeling guilty about not raising them, even though they have been placed in very good homes. Just because some of us have raised our grandchildren does not mean it is the right thing for everyone. I hope any of you who feel that you are honestly not up to the task and do not take on the challenge can find other ways to help your grandchildren, even if you can't raise them. Many grandparents simply are not in a position to start all over again. But that does not mean that they can't contribute to the well-being of the children and still share their love with them. Sometimes we all have to be very creative in the way we deal with these issues. I appreciate each and every email I get from grandmothers and grandfathers too, of course.

Karen Wright
A grandmother in love with her grandchildren

Comments

[Susan Adcox]

From the phrasing of your post, it sounds as if she has had her grandchildren off and on. That can be even more difficult than having them permanently. When my daughter was taking care of her niece because the girl's mother was on drugs, she finally had to tell the family that she couldn't take care of her any longer unless she were given custody. It's just too hard to deal with those issues that arise from ping-ponging back and forth between two families. Also, there is the emotional havoc that is wreaked when you never know whether the kids will be there in the future. Grandparents who can't take care of their grandchildren shouldn't feel guilty if they have good reasons for their decision.