Why do some grandparent support groups succeed and others do not?

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

This post is a question to those of you who have had any experience with this. I appreciate all comments or emails to me.

As I read the many emails I get from grandmothers raising grandchildren, some say how their local support groups have helped them, while others have no support whatsoever. One grandmother wrote that the support group in her area disbanded after two years, because she was the only one still going.

So why is it difficult to get support groups going and successful? Since I have not had any luck getting a support group going in my area, I have my opinions on why some don't work. I have no experience on those that do work. So any input is welcome.

Grandparents who are raising grandchildren vary dramatically in their situations. Many grandparents work during the day, so are unable to attend daytime groups. If they don't work during the day and have small children, that poses another problem unless daycare is provided. If one works during the day, who wants to drag little kids to a meeting at night even if child care is provided? Some of course will want to, while others are exhausted and the thought is not appealing.

The most successful groups that I have read about seem to be started and maintained by groups other than by the tired grandparents themselves. Fun activities are provided for the children, while the grandparents relax, talk, and have snacks themselves.

A really good program will not only offer a sit around gap group, but will have assistance with legal concerns, financial assistance in some form, and education on issues they may never have dealt with before.

For me, I have found my greatest support to be a personal friend, my sister, and a couple of my grown daughters.

The most successful support groups seem to be in urban areas. Since I live in a rural community, perhaps that is why I have not found much support in my area. Please feel free to comment or email me with any success stories you may have.

Karen Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com

Comments

[Kay]

I am a 65 year old grandmother married to the 69 year old grandfather. In the last 9 years,we have raised two grandchildren,10&12 when they came to live with us. Last year the oldest (18) went into the Marine Corps, the youngest 16 went back to live with mom (who was finally clean and sober) is now waiting for her acceptance letter from Harvard and we are all praying she gets. Last month we temporarily took on the responsibility of our 7 yr old. What a joy. Yes we are tired, no we do not have a support group. We have our friends and family, faith in God. Had ther been a support group, would I have attended? Probably not, why - because (with the older ones) after keeping up with pre-teens and teens (trying to stay one-step ahead of them all day, let's face it I was tired. Same with our little one. After keeping up with her, playing, taking, picking up from school, homework and other activities, and being 65 I AM TIRED. Yes, it is stressful, yes, it is hard, yes, it is exhausting, but have you ever had a more rewarding experience, keeping your grandchildren, safe, happy and loved. In the end - the time went by much to fast.

[Sue Finley]

I wish there was a support group for grandparents here, Karen. Our church has a group that meets on Sunday evenings for "normal" grandparents but I can't seem to find anyone who is like us in this boat. This is why I come here to read and feel like I am not alone. Thank you!

[Jennifer Nichols]

I live in a small town that doesn't even have a support group. I have talked with leaders in various organizations in hopes of getting one started.
I would LOVE to have a place to relax and talk with other grandparents who are on this journey as well.

[Valerie Brown]

Karen, I forwarded your link to our group's founder and facilitator, Sue, and I hope she will comment also. We are in rural MN, at least 60 miles from a city larger than 6,000. Our group began meeting in Sept, 2007, and is doing well. Through an affiliation with our school district's early childhood education department, we've secured grants to offer our members monthly activities and field trips. We meet once a month, beginning with a family-style dinner. Child care is then provided while we meet with are professionals in various fields (lawyers, Head Start, child care resources, educators, etc). Tonight we are co-sponsoring, with MN Kinship Foundation and the school district, a Grandparenting Forum. I'll keep you posted regarding tonight's forum and hopefully Sue will also share her visions for our group.

[Sue Bowerman]

I would love to comment on this! I am a grandparent who is raising 3 special needs (EBD) children. I also work fulltime and facilitate a monthly group called Parenting Again... Grandparents Support Group in the small town of Mora, MN. Currently we have 13 families who come on a semi regular basis. I offer free childcare, free light lunch and arts and crafts for the kids and sometimes speakers for the families. We have even had a few field trips this year! I was able to acquire 2 grants this year that have helped with all of the funding and it has been spectacular! We meet monthly and have linked up with ECFE in our elementary school and I believe this is a great part of our sucess. They handle the mailings for me and assist with setting up the dinner and cleanup so that I am able to focus on the meeting and task delegation.

[Jean]

Great post. For me, it is not having a sitter. I have been involved in weekly church things only to drop out because I had no sitter and the church thought they had one but didn't. Many times we want to think we need no help!