Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Budget cuts affecting grandparent programs

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Every day I sift through Google Alert emails in my in-box about grandparents raising grandchildren. Of course many of the emails are unrelated to grandparents who are actually raising grandchildren. The emails might be about someone who raises chickens or goats and likes to visit their grandchildren.

However!

One thing I find puzzling is how in one state, programs are being started for grandparents who are raising grandchildren and in another state the existing programs are being cut due to budget cuts. Just today I read about a program in northern Michigan starting up through a County Commission on Aging and a program in Massachusetts being cut by the Agency on Aging. I find it interesting, yet disturbing, how Massachusetts cannot afford a support program for grandparents raising grandchildren, yet Michigan can.

Go figure.

Karen Wright
Grandmother raising grandchildren (but not in either Michigan or Massachusetts)

Washing two floors at once

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

My bathroom floors really needed to be washed, but it was one of those things that was down a ways on my to do list. However, today two of the bathroom floors got washed at the same time. I was actually already doing two things at once (totally different). I was cooking dinner and working in my office. As I was going back and forth across the house, I heard water running. At first I thought it was REALLY raining outside, but when I looked out the window, it was clear. So I listened a little harder, "Oh No!"

I ran into the downstairs bathroom and thought someone had left the shower running, but when I got in there I saw the water was coming from the ceiling and was everywhere. I ran upstairs to the bathroom above it to find the faucets running, the sink overflowing, and the floor covered with water.

I called to my granddaughter to bring me all of the old towels in the laundry room. When she did, she admitted to having left the water running. In tears she helped clean everything up. Between the two bathrooms, we used almost every towel in the house, including the soiled ones mopping up water. I told her she was going to need to find a way to get all of the towels to the laundry room for me to wash. She was very creative. "Can I use a big garbage bag?" I told that was a brilliant idea. So she loaded all of the towels into the lawn size garbage bag and dragged them into my office. "No, not my office. I can't wash them in here. Drag them into the laundry room." With a groan, yet pleased with herself, she did.

Now I have two very clean bathroom floors. However, I would not recommend cleaning floors this way.

Karen Wright
Grandmother Raising Grandchildren

Sometimes people care about the grandparents

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I came across three articles today on the Internet about the Grand Family Center in Newark, N.J. It is really nice to learn that some people really honestly care about grandparents who are raising grandchildren as well as the children.

According to one article at phillblurbs.com (not sure how long this link will work)

Officials from Newark, Essex County and the Salvation Army praised the creation of the Grand Family Center in Newark as the first in the state, and only the second in the nation behind the Grandparent Resource Center in Wilmington, Delaware.

Another article at nj.com stated about the center:

The center also provided free health screenings, family and after-school activities, and a chance to join educational programs, job skills and computer training, support groups and a summer day camp.

I know there are other places that have programs for grandparents raising grandchildren, but most of the emails I get are from grandmothers who are finding little support if any. I know of grandmothers who had hoped to get help starting even simple support groups by contacting their local social services, area agency on aging, university extension center, the social work department of a college, and even a couple of local churches with absolutely no luck.

So I am impressed and think it is great when people other than the tired grandmothers care enough to put together programs to help the children and their "old" moms.

Karen Wright
Grandmother raising grandchildren

Things that make me smile

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

In many of the emails that I get from grandmothers raising grandchildren, I often hear how much they enjoy listening to their grandchildren laugh and play. For many grandparents who have worried so much about their grandchildren, this is a tremendous relief to them.

Sunday afternoon, I sat on my porch and just rocked back and forth relaxing and listening to my 6 year old and 8 year old granddaughters playing. They could not see me because of the bushes by our porch, but I could hear everything they were saying. They were laughing and having so much fun just playing in the freshly cut grass. It was nice listening to them enjoying such simple fun. The oldest one said "Let's bury ourselves in the grass." The younger one, not liking that idea, retorted with "No, I don't want to get buried in the grass." But my oldest is the most daring and always wanting to try something new. I then heard her say to my almost horror, "Let's scare Mom and make her think I got my head cut off." At that, I piped up, "That is gross." Giggles came from the other side of the bushes.

Today, they played much of the afternoon in the sprinkler and had a ton of fun. By the looks of them, one would think that mud came out of our sprinkler. I think they were actually looking like mud pies on purpose. They were cute mud pies though, and I smiled.

WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

Karen Wright
Grandmother Raising Grandchildren

Mentoring Program for Chicago Youth

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I received an email today with information about a youth mentoring program in Chicago, Illinois for youth ages 4 - 17 whose parents are incarcerated. The program is called Making Mentoring Meaningful. Another name is Mentoring Children of Prisoners.

Making Mentoring Meaningful mentors meet with their mentees at least twice a month for 2-3 hours per activity/outing.  Activities could include seeing movies, going to lunch, visiting  a park or simply running errands.  We also offer group activities that allow matches to get together  and participate in community service projects, and attend sporting events and holiday parties.  Don’t delay—we have a child that would love to meet you!! “We Need You.”

You can check out the Chicago Youth Centers website at http://www.chicagoyouthcenters.org

I appreciate all of the emails I get from people letting me know about any services in their areas that help children who may be living with grandparents or other relatives for whatever reason it is.

Thanks Rosie for the information

Karen Wright
Grandmother Raising Grandchildren

Do we have to do this?

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I receive several emails from grandparents on a daily basis, and one thing that concerns me is when I hear comments like, "We shouldn't have to be doing this." I have deep empathy for these feelings. However, we must remember that we "don't have" to raise our grandchildren. Now I know when we look at the alternative, it looks worse. It probably is worse. But I think it is important to remember that we are choosing to raise our grandchildren. Not all grandparents either want to or are in a position at all to be able to even make that choice, even if they were needed.

If a grandparent gets to a point that he or she feels that raising children is just not something that they can do anymore, for whatever reason, there are other options. These options may look horrid and may make a grandparent change her mind, but there are options. When we get discouraged, our spirits can be lifted when we remind ourselves that we made this choice. We may never know in this lifetime why our lives took the path they did, but I believe someday we will understand the bigger picture, and then we will say, "Now, I understand."

I pray daily that the Lord will clear my mind and bring peace to my sometimes troubled soul. When I pray, I invision that angels are pouring their light through me guiding my path, my thoughts, and my actions. Sometimes I can feel the angels there and sometimes I feel utterly alone. I don't understand why sometimes my soul is so open and other times it feels so blocked. It is probably because I do not put enough effort and faith into my prayers.

I didn't intend on making this post a sermon, but it looks like that is what it has turned into. Since these are my writings, I guess I can preach if I feel like preaching. I am really just preaching to myself and then sharing it with others.

Karen Wright, B.S.
Grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com

Teen Green Summer Camp in Garland, Texas

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I received an email today with information about the YMCA Teen Green Summer Camp Program in Garland, TX. I thought I would pass on this info.

The Teen Green Summer Camp is a Low Cost service learning specialty camp for youth not living in the home with their parents.This camp will provide this unique group of teens a rare opportunity to experience the benefits of service learning through the eyes of the volunteer. They will participate in developmentally appropriate activities that will develop character and a sense of pride in community. Community volunteers will be used to lead seminars and hold educational classes on health, budgeting, college and other life skills. They will have an opportunity to build a social network with teens in similar living situations by participating in a weekly service project, field trips, environmental education classes and regular camp activities.  The teens can feel comfortable to be open and honest and have an opportunity to be in an environment that gives them a since of belonging. We will continue this program in the Fall and Spring as a Teen Green Club. During these months the youth will meet on a Bi-Weekly basis to identify and help plan community service projects that are environmentally based.

Each teen will be charged 200.00 for the entire eight weeks. This will include field trips Lunch and a snack. If a student is in the custody of the state and has a case worker Wednesdays' Child will pay the entire cost. If the child is with a relative but is not the custody of the state we will work payment arrangements with the Family.  Please contact me with any further questions you may have.

If you live in Garland, TX and would like more information about this summer program, contact Terrie Eley, the Program Director at the Garland YMCA at (972) 272-3484 Ex 17

Karen Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
Grandmother Raising Grandchildren
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

"Me with You" picture book - pefect for grandchildren

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I received a copy of the new book Me with You from the author Kristy Dempsey for my give-a-way next month (June). I love picture books that are so perfect for grandparents and grandchildren. Because the book does not give a definite relationship between the Big Bear and the little girl bear, it is perfect for whatever relationship the child has with the adult.

I read the book and was so touched that I thought, "I don't want to give this book away." But I will since that is why it was sent to me. Of course, you must understand that I have read it to my girls and probably will a few more times before I send it to the person who wins it. However, I am keeping it stored in its bubble wrap and envelope for safe keeping.

So watch for more details about it on my give-a-way page in June. Until then, you can learn more about it on Amazon.

Karen Wright
Grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
http://blogforhealthyliving.com

Letting children earn money

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I have never been one who handed kids an allowance. I know a lot of people do. I just have never been one of them. I do, however, encourage my grandchildren to earn money by doing work. They know how much cleaning out the litter box or sweeping the floor is worth. Our home has only hard floors, no carpet, so there are plenty of floors to sweep.

Today I walked into the kitchen and saw my 6 year-old granddaughter at the kitchen sink washing dishes. The sink was about to over-flow with soapy water, and her sleeves were soaking wet. She was scrubbing out a measuring cup with a long-handled dish scrub brush and said, "This is like I am scratching its back." I thought that was very cute and creative thinking.

I was curious at why she was wanting to wash dishes and decided to ignore the water that was getting on the floor and just let her do her thing, while I was in and out of the kitchen doing my own thing. Finally I asked her, "My, why are you being so ambitious?" She answered simply, "To Get Money. Plus, I get more since you didn't even ask me to do the dishes." You just can't get a cuter or more industrious child than that.

I do not pay children to clean up their own things, but we are never short on jobs that can be done for cash. There are always floors to be swept, a litter box to be cleaned, or pets to be fed, and my little one will do them all. I hope she stays this way.

Karen Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
Grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com

When you are the outside grandparent

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

On my April 13, 2009 post, I wrote a bit about being the "outside" grandparent. I feel prompted to write more on this subject. I receive many emails from grandparents, and I spend time thinking and pondering what they write. This is a touchy subject for many grandparents and can be a hurtful one at that.

If I come across a bit preachy and should I offend anyone, please understand that is not my intention. I am sharing what is in my heart at this moment. What I am about to write sometimes comes easy for me to do and other times it comes with great difficulty.

When I am facing a very difficult situation, and believe me I have had plenty of them over the past seven years, I kneel in front of an antique trunk that has a cloth over it with a candle and a beautiful picture of Christ on it. I kneel and pretend that I am touching the hem of Christ's garment and praying that his spirit will flow through me. I pray for guidance, transparency to understand a situation, and I pray for compassion for those I may be in conflict with. I also pray that angels will surround my loved ones and myself and touch our souls.

It is so easy to look at others and feel angry, see their faults (which may be very obvious to all), and want to charge in and take over. Sometimes we may have to do that and other times we may not. My point is whichever is the path we must take, we must learn to deal with those involved with the love of Christ flowing through us. Do we stop and ask God, "Lord how do YOU want me to deal with this?" With faith, I believe the Lord will guide us through our trials even when the results may bring pain and despair.

When we pray with a sincere heart that the Spirit of Christ will guide our every thought and action, it is amazing how much better we deal with other people. That does not mean that the other person will feel it. They may be so blocked off from love, that positive energy does not penetrate their anger or protective shell. But I believe in miracles. And we may be the ones who must exhibit the love of Christ even if the love is not returned.

I am no shining example of how we accomplish what I am writing. I only know it is a journey and a journey worth traveling.

Karen Wright
grandmother raising grandchildren.com
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.Blogforhealthyliving.com

How well do your children or grandchildren know you?

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Today being Mother's Day, the girls made me Mother's Day cards in Sunday School Class. I got a good chuckle out of the cards. The cards had each of their pictures glued to it, which of course was adorable. But what was funny was the fill-in the blank statements they made about me. Both girls (6 and 8) were in agreement that Mom's favorite food is beans, bean soup, and chicken, and they both wrote that my favorite color is purple. They also both wrote that I like it when they help me. Those things are definitely true.

The funny parts were their perception on other things. One fill-in the blank was "My mom's favorite vacation spot is ________. My 6 year-old granddaughter wrote "nothing," and my 8 year-old granddaughter wrote the "beach." I had to laugh at both of them. We really do not get too much vacationing, so I can't really expect them to know what I would do if I could really go on a real vacation. If I had the money and time, I would rent a cabin way back in the mountains and relax, write, and hike. But the girls do not know that. Mostly what we do in the summer is go to the local state park and go to the beach (because this is what the children like to do.) Sitting in the hot sun trying NOT to get sunburned really is not my cup of tea. I much prefer hiking in the mountains. Perhaps this summer we need to venture a bit further than our local state park and find some mountains.

The next funny thing they wrote was the fill-in statement "What my mother likes best about being a mother is _________." The oldest child left her's blank so I could fill it in and sign it. The younger child filled her blank with, "She can tell people what to do." I really laughed at that one. You see, I'm really the naive type that thinks everyone is just suppose to know what to do so I don't have to tell them. I detest needing to tell people what to do, whether they are a child or husband. But I guess she perceives that this is part of being a mother I like. Oh, dear brother, what a miscommunication.

Another funny one was the fill-in the blank of "In her free time, Mom likes to _________." The oldest one wrote "cook." I really dislike cooking. I cook merely because we need to eat. The younger child wrote, "work on the computer." I "work" for pay on my computer daily. But in my "free" time, I really would rather be reading a book or organizing something. But I guess since I spend so much time on the computer, she must think that is all I want to do. I try to explain when I am on the computer and need to not be disturbed that I am working for other people to earn money to buy our food and clothes, but I guess her perception is that it is more fun than it is. I do not and I mean I really DO NOT play games on the computer.

But I did have a good Mother's Day. Two of my grown daughters stayed over Saturday night. After putting my granddaughters to bed and the visiting grandchildren, my daughters and I watched, "Because I said so" with Diane Keaton. It was sort of like a slumber party. Then they all went to my church with me. We came home and had a cook out. Our big yard is really almost like a park with a big swing set, teeter totter, play house, picnic tables, and of course the grill.

We really did have such a nice day.

Karen Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
Grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com

Congratulations Susan

by Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

Congratulations goes to Susan at http://grandparents.about.com for winning the April give-a-way item of the Fold-up Barbaire doll kitchen fabric panel. Instructions are included. I hope your grandchildren or some other children you know will enjoy it. Let me know how to get this to you.

I know I haven't written in my Blog for a while. I will start doing better with this soon.

Karen Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com