Do we have to do this?

By Karen Best Wright, www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com

I receive several emails from grandparents on a daily basis, and one thing that concerns me is when I hear comments like, "We shouldn't have to be doing this." I have deep empathy for these feelings. However, we must remember that we "don't have" to raise our grandchildren. Now I know when we look at the alternative, it looks worse. It probably is worse. But I think it is important to remember that we are choosing to raise our grandchildren. Not all grandparents either want to or are in a position at all to be able to even make that choice, even if they were needed.

If a grandparent gets to a point that he or she feels that raising children is just not something that they can do anymore, for whatever reason, there are other options. These options may look horrid and may make a grandparent change her mind, but there are options. When we get discouraged, our spirits can be lifted when we remind ourselves that we made this choice. We may never know in this lifetime why our lives took the path they did, but I believe someday we will understand the bigger picture, and then we will say, "Now, I understand."

I pray daily that the Lord will clear my mind and bring peace to my sometimes troubled soul. When I pray, I invision that angels are pouring their light through me guiding my path, my thoughts, and my actions. Sometimes I can feel the angels there and sometimes I feel utterly alone. I don't understand why sometimes my soul is so open and other times it feels so blocked. It is probably because I do not put enough effort and faith into my prayers.

I didn't intend on making this post a sermon, but it looks like that is what it has turned into. Since these are my writings, I guess I can preach if I feel like preaching. I am really just preaching to myself and then sharing it with others.

Karen Wright, B.S.
Grandmother raising grandchildren
www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com
www.BlogforHealthyLiving.com

Comments

[bernice taylor]

i am new here and so far i love it.i don't get a lot of time to surf,but i always love these sights. i especially love the artical. Do we have to do this? we are raising two of our grandchildren and i agree this is whay we choose to do.My 8 year old grandson has adhd and it takes a lot of work with him, but at the end of the day when they are asleep,I think God they are safe,warm,fed,and that he allowed us to be able and willing to take this on.No matter how hectic the day got when i see them sleeping peaceful i am ready to tackle the next day.Do i have to do this? No,but i wouldn't have it any other way.

[Jennifer Nichols]

No, we don't have to be raising our grandchildren. We are doing it by chose because we prefer them to be with us than to be in what is considered the "natural" situation. Circumstances may have put us in a position initially where we felt we had no chose but I truly believe that once we are there most of us feel blessed rather than forced.

My husband fought within himself desperately when faced with the "chose". Now after 2 years he would fight to continue to live with his chose. As would I.

We are often told how much others admire us for the chose we made. When they say, "your granddaughter is so blessed to have you raising her" I have to reply "no, we are the blessed ones". And indeed we are.

[Susan Adcox]

After I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, one of my friends said, "Do you ever wonder, 'Why me?" I could honestly answer that I never had that thought. My take was always, "Why not me? Everyone has challenges and hardships. There is no reason I should be exempt." I think the same philosophy applies to raising grandchildren. It's just another challenge, and no one ever promised us a life without challenges.

Those grandparents who protest, "We shouldn't have to be doing this," are reacting to the fact that it's not a natural circumstance for those 50+ to be raising small children. It's not what nature intended. But lots of circumstances in life seem contrary to nature, like parents who outlive their children, or health nuts who fall victim to dread diseases. There are simply no guarantees in life, and we all have to do the best we can.

Having said all that, once again, I have to take my hat off to all of you grandparents who are raising grandchildren. It is an exhausting job, although infinitely rewarding, I'm sure.