Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

What To Do Differently With Grandchildren

www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com

     When I think about what I want to do differently in raising my grandchildren from what I did in raising my own children, I realize that I need to look at my past with an open mind. With a pen and paper in hand, I have rehearsed the positive memories that my children and I have, activities and memories that are worth repeating. Even though some of my children have had difficult issues to deal with, I still believe these activities are worth repeating.

     I focused only on the positive memories, not the negative. I then made a list of activities and choices that I want to add to our lives. These were things that perhaps I did not do so well the first time around. So rather than thinking “don’t do this and don’t do that,” I have a rather comprehensive list of various positive things to do.

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An example of my first list, repeating with these little ones what I did with my first:

1. Play family games and sing family songs frequently
2. Have weekly family activities
3. Regularly attend church and church activities
4. Encourage reading and lots of creative play and activities
5. Have daily family scriptures and prayer

An example of my second list, what I will add to our lives:

1. Be involved in various fun community activities as a family.
2. Develop a strong loving relationship with my husband (new relationship)
3. Obtain counseling and/or medication for children at first sign of mental illness.
4. Develop my own career
5. Seek counseling and help for myself when needed.

     Creating these lists has helped me realize that I did many good things with my own children, even if their current behavior makes one wonder. Further, thinking about what was good and what was not, helps me think about what I want to change by adding new positive choices to our lives.

Finding Our Spiritual Support Center

Every day I receive emails through our website www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com. I have been so impressed by the comments left by grandparents at the end of the questionnaire we have placed on the website.

We have provided a spot for people to write “Positive Experiences” they have had while raising their grandchildren.  Many people are still quite new and haven’t quite adjusted and are short on “positive experiences.” Other grandparents have positive experiences that they attribute to their faith in God and their church congregation that have been so supportive.

It is impressive to me how their Faith in God plays such a vital role in their lives. No one writes what denomination they belong to, so I assume they are from a variety of religious organizations.  As for our family, our little girls absolutely love going to church and learning the many positive teachings that support what we are trying to teach them.

My suggestion to grandparents that do not go to church is to find a religious or spiritual path that is comforting and fits their belief system. Following a spiritual path that is comfortable to us has been very helpful to my husband and me in loving and teaching our little girls. I have been so impressed with the girls' spiritual enthusiasm when learning about how God loves us and wants us to follow him.