www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com
The other day I was talking with a friend (my x-husband’s wife). She was commending me on what a wonderful job we are doing with the children. I confided in her about how overwhelmed I was and how I felt I was literally burning myself out trying to be this “perfect” mother to these little children, as well as my grown kids as well.
She told me something, I will not forget. She said, “Karen, the most important thing you can give these children is a good relationship between you and Stan. Let them feel your love and devotion to each other. That is more important than all the little things you do for the girls that wear you out.” She was very insightful.
It has been so easy for Stan and I to neglect our own relationship as we care for the children and continue with our own careers. Even though we are not ones to argue or fight with one another, we devote so much energy to everything but ourselves. Since we had only been married for four months when these three little girls came to live with us, we had not even had a chance to build a solid relationship before our attention was diverted to the children, which included a premature infant with health issues.
We may not have the time, energy, or money right now to take relaxing vacations by ourselves, but we definitely can do better at displaying love and affection within the mix of our chaotic life.
For those grandparents raising grandchildren who are not married, I believe more than ever how important it is to show our grandchildren how to have healthy relationships with family members, friends, and neighbors. Most of these children came to grandparents having no idea what a healthy relationship was. It is up to us to teach them by showing them.
